


Waking Alone

by Dimirti



Series: McHanzo Drabbles and One-shots [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, NSFW implied but it's still really safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 13:04:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12705573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dimirti/pseuds/Dimirti
Summary: He'd not allowed himself to grow close to anyone and one night, he'd loved, and he'd lost.





	Waking Alone

Hanzo woke slowly, the smile he'd fallen asleep with still on his face. He'd spent so long pining at a distance and was elated to find the feelings mutual. He would've sat silent forever, content to keep his feelings to himself, if it meant he got to just be around the other, but fate has a strange way of working. He found himself approached first, by the subject of his desires, Jesse McCree.

It was endearing to see the man so flustered, stumbling over his words, so Hanzo had smiled and offered him a helping hand, letting the man know that he felt the same and a date would be a good place to start. Sure, he hadn't intended for it to end in bed together, but he was not willing to complain at all.

He was barely awake, still in a haze of contentment, as he reached out, wanting to take every opportunity to touch the man that he could. He felt his stomach drop as his hand fell flat against the sheets. _Cold_ sheets. His eyes opened fully, though his head still remained groggy.

"...Jesse?"

He heard no reply, causing him to sit up, looking around the room. McCree's clothes were gone. There was barely any trace that he'd come at all. Hanzo felt his chest clench, his heart beat vivid against his ribs as the sense of dread washed over him.

"Jesse, are you here...?"

He spoke a bit louder, waited a bit longer. Nothing. He pulled the sheet up to his chest, his grip tight as his thoughts twisted.

_Of course he left._

_How could you think it could be anything more?_

_Who would want you?_

_Unworthy._

_Undeserving._

_**Unwanted**._

He was barely aware he was crying until the tears dripped onto his hands. He didn't try to stop them. He'd wanted, he'd had a taste, and now it hurt. He laid back slowly, staring at the cieling as he tried to school his emotions. He didn't need this, but after the night, he was acutely aware of a deep and painful loneliness.

He'd not allowed himself to grow close to anyone and one night he'd loved, and he'd lost. He would have to be more cautious. There wasn't really anyone out there who would want him, no one who would love him. If Jesse McCree, with his kind heart and soothing words, didn't want him, there was nothing left.

He rolled to his side, debating whether getting up was worth it or if he should just spend his day off wallowing. It took him a moment to notice that there was a small blinking light on his comm. A message. No one ever sent him messages. He reached over lazily, looking to the comm in confusion.

A voice message.

From _McCree_.

He glared at it. Did he intend to leave a personal last goodbye? He supposed working with him without at least an apology would be incredibly awkward.  
Then again, the man was thoughtful. Kind. Perhaps, in the morning haze, he had jumped too quickly conclusions.

Hanzo hit play.

"Hey, darlin'. Uh....I know it was rude to cut and run, but there was an emergency and I got called out. You looked so peaceful sleepin', I didn't have it in me to wake you. You don't get enough sleep as it is, I know, so I hope it's good. You deserve it." There was a pause, causing Hanzo to check if it was over or not. McCree's voice came back through and Hanzo put th comm quickly back to his ear. "Last night was....good. Better than good. Not just 'cause we...uh...you know...but because....well, I've liked you for a while and it's been a bit since I felt something like that and you liked me, too....." Hanzo laughed lightly at the groan that came through. "Darlin', I'd like to do more with you...to be.... _something_ more with you...it's not like we're exactly young and we both know we've been pining for a time, so...take a chance...dive in, ya know? Call me presumptuous, and sorry it's like this but....this ain't just a feeling of 'like', Hanzo. I care about you...and I really hope you can forgive this being a confession over the comm, but you get me flustered, you know that?" There was a voice in the distance, too faint for Hanzo to make out. "Ah...gotta go, Han. Can't wait to get back and see you."

Hanzo made sure the message was over before covering himself completely with the sheet. He knew he was grinning like an idiot as he rolled in the bed. It may have been undignified, but he supposed it didn't matter much. He was happy enough not to care.

He pulled the sheets down, tapping out the contact on the comm, fully expecting to leave a message. He was surprised, though happy, that he got McCree himself.

"...Hanzo?"

"Hello, Jesse." 

"Darlin', I already love hearing my name from you." McCree's voice had brightened considerably and Hanzo's smile only widened.

"Is that right?"

"Yeah. Say it again."

Hanzo laughed as he spoke. "Easy, Jesse."

There was a content sigh on the end of the line. "Mmm. So nice."

"Are you busy?"

"Nah. Things are quiet right now. I'm just an extra hand since it's Talon and all."

"Ah. I see why they would like to have backup."

McCree laughed. "Yeah...so...why're you callin'?"

"Your message was...really touching."

There was a pause. "You know, a part of me was wishing you wouldn't get that. Realized it was too impersonal."

"It was not. It was....very you." Hanzo took a deep breath, taking his chance to continue as McCree remained silent. "It was no less than what I was thinking about you. I have felt strongly about you for quite some time, but I always felt...." His voice trailed off as he bit his lip, though McCree seemed to pick up on his thoughts.

"You're worthy of love, Han. You deserve it."

Hanzo laughed. "Why, Jesse McCree, are you saying you _love_ me?"

There was a huff from McCree's end. "So what if I am? Ain't like we haven't spent just about every waking moment together for months now. Stubborn old fools, the both of us. Had something going, just too afraid to put a name to it."

Hanzo took a moment to think back on the past few months, of all the moments he spent with McCree. Camaraderie on the rooftops, jokes in the common room, cooking in the kitchen, dark nights when Hanzo couldn't sleep, who's door he'd knock on, who would knock on his. He suddenly felt rather foolish for thinking McCree would leave. The remorse of how quickly he jumped to that conclusion for someone who clearly cared so deeply for him had him doubling over, his tears starting once more.

McCree's worried tone came over the line. "Hanzo? Did I say something wrong?"

Hanzo shook his head, despite McCree not being able to see it. "No, I just...when I woke up, I thought you had left. Just...left."

McCree was quiet. "Sorry 'bout that, honeybee. I just couldn't wake you."

"No, it is fine. It is....I am sorry I thought so ill of you, Jesse. I apologize."

"No, Han. Don't do that. Probably would've done the same. But I'm here, alright? Well, wish I could be actually _there_ but I will be soon. Few hours max."

Hanzo was silent for a few beats, before his voice came softly. "I really do love you, Jesse." It was almost as though it were a thought spoken aloud with the tone of reverence he held.

There was a long pause before Jesse's voice came back, just as softly. "I love you, too, Hanzo."

**Author's Note:**

> The trope may be overdone, but I wanted something happy out of it.


End file.
